i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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