the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Floor bacon is actually really good
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
