sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
