she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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