Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
