Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
