I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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