I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
