did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
