she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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