I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize