I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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