i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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