YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
