you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
