Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
