I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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