can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Im part way to drunk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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