Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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