i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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