Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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