im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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