I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize