Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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