we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
