take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
