Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
