everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
