someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
