i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
