Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
