Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize