You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
