You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize