I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
