"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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