somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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