It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
