No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
