you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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