my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize