Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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