I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
