hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
