I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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