You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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