So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The best revenge is premature balding
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
