..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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