She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
