Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Shame - the story of my life.
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