sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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