Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
