Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
