You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
