sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
