homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
