I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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