That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
