He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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