this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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