The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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