next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
