Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
