why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
