I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
