apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
