I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
