Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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