Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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