nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
