Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
